Living Wake

A living wake is a gathering held while a person is still alive, giving them the opportunity to bring together the people they want to say goodbye to, hear what those people have to say about them, and take part in their own farewell.

A living wake can be almost anything the person wants it to be. It might be a quiet afternoon with a handful of close friends and family, a dinner, a backyard gathering, a formal ceremony or a huge party. There is no prescribed format. The important thing is that the person being honoured is there to experience it.

Say goodbye while you’re still here. One of the most powerful things about a living wake is that the person gets to hear the stories, expressions of love, thanks and memories that would otherwise be shared after their death. They can respond, tell their own stories, settle unfinished business, laugh, cry and simply enjoy being surrounded by the people who matter to them.

It can be a celebration. A living wake does not have to look like a funeral. It might be solemn and reflective, but it can just as easily be joyful, irreverent, noisy or completely ordinary. Food, music, dancing, speeches, storytelling, photographs, games or simply sitting around talking can all be part of it. The person gets to decide what feels right.

It can be small or large. Someone might invite only their closest loved ones because they want an intimate goodbye. Someone else might bring together hundreds of people. A person who is well known in their community might expect a large funeral after their death but choose to have a much smaller living wake for the people closest to them.

It can stand on its own. A living wake does not necessarily replace a funeral or memorial after death. Some people choose to have a living wake as well as a later funeral, while others may choose it because they do not want a traditional funeral afterwards. It allows the person to decide what kind of farewell feels right for them.

The farewell belongs to the person. A traditional funeral necessarily happens after death, when the person can no longer participate in deciding what is said or how people gather. A living wake gives that choice back to them. They can choose who is invited, what happens, what is said and what kind of atmosphere they want.

Not just for people who are dying. Living wakes are often associated with people who know they are approaching the end of their life, particularly following a terminal or life-limiting diagnosis. They can also be chosen by people simply because they want to celebrate their life and relationships while they are still able to be part of it.

A living wake is ultimately a farewell that happens while the person is still alive — giving them the chance to be present for their own goodbye.

Living Wake

Living Wake

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